Friday, October 13, 2017

What is it they say? Better late then never?

Things have been a little rough lately this way. Really though, it's more like it has been a rough decade.

It was spirit week at school for my oldest, a general lead up to homecoming. As a sophomore, this is his first year choosing to attend the homecoming dance which meant he had to ask someone. He has an adorable girlfriend and he wanted to make sure everything was just right.

Tuesday, when I got home from work at 5:28pm, he asked to go to the store. He needed a poster board, candy, and a teddy bear. Why he needed a teddy bear he wasn't sure. All he knew was that it had to be a bear. So off we headed in search of the items on his list.

Now, one thing to keep in mind it that he is sixteen years old, sixteen. That's how old I was when I had him. Needless to say this is a difficult time in growing, but watching him be typical teenager has hurt me a little. I didn't have that, and a small part of me regrets it. Seeing him mature and grow has been such an important part of my life. We have grown along side one another. He trusts me beyond all else and I know I can trust him to make the best choices he can with his hormonal mind. I am so thankful every day that he feels he can talk to me about anything, especially topics that may be difficult for both of us to broach.

Of course our first stop was Wal-Mart, because they have everything. The bears there were either too small or too visibly cheap. I sided with him on that one, those bears were not what I would have wanted to receive. Wal-Mart did have a large family-size bag of her favorite M&Ms and poster board, and cream cheese and milk which were on my list.

Our next stop...Target.

Unfortunately though, Target also did not have a good selection of stuffed animals. The bear was not found.

I had worked a ten hour shift on my feet and was not trying to run all over town, but I wanted this for him, for her. I was willing to go the distance to ensure he was happy.

Toys R Us. Honestly, I love Toy's R Us. Something about the nostalgia and a place with everything just for kids. I know they aren't doing so well right now. I hope they somehow pull through and continue to bring joy to little ones in the future.

We had never gone to Toys R Us for anything stuffed. I have two boys and while they have always had a fair collection of stuffed creatures, most of them came from friends and family or were found in the same aisle as the action figures.

Finding a section of stuffed animals, namely teddy bears, proved a more difficult task than I first imagined. Sweaty and tired, I found myself too easily distracted by all the new and colorful toys. Silly little things that would probably be lost in a day, monstrous dolls that even a young me wouldn't care for.

When I go somewhere new, or somewhere I'm not entirely sure of the layout, I admittedly do not ask for assistance. I enjoy looking and learning. Sometimes that is when I find the best things, like my T-Rexs in bow ties salt and pepper shakers.

The stuffed animals were at the back of the store, almost half an entire aisle of them. At first it didn't look like we would find a bear at all. They did have some pretty amazing little rabbits that I may go back and get for myself. Their selection of different animals was exactly what I would expect from a toy store and were we looking for a donkey we would have been in the right place.

Top shelf appeared to be designated for bears. Colorful was out. Big sparkly eyes were a no. Then, when all hope was almost lost, we found it. The last of its kind. It was the perfect bear. A classic brown bear with a gold bow fixed around its neck. A size most huggable and soft. I could not have pictured a more perfect bear. We both agreed, this was the one.

At home, the poster making began right after dinner. He didn't know what to write. Underestimating the size of the poster board and making the words big enough to be seen at a fair distance, we brainstormed a half hour at least before coming up with: "It will be beary nice if you go to homecoming with me".

I was up until midnight putting the finishing touches on the poster. My oldest went to bed trusting me to make it pretty. I know it should have been his responsibility and all that, but I could see in his eyes the disappointment every time he made a little mistake or it didn't look the way he wanted. He would go back over a line with the paintbrush unintentionally widening it until it was straight. It would have taken until the morning hours if I let him do it himself.

He and his girlfriend were both happy with the presentation and it made me happy to be a part of it. It doesn't matter how long it takes or how tired I am. My kids are worth every sacrifice.

With my youngest turning six next month I think it is more than past due for me to take better care of myself, mentally and physically. All my focus has been on them which it always will be. Time is what I really need. Just an hour or so a day for me. My writing and art has been close to non existent and it makes me sad.

How the heck do you make the time?