This morning I found out one of my good friends passed away last night, in one of the most awful ways. I haven't spoken to her in a few weeks. It has been a few years since she moved across the country, and we have attempted to keep regular contact, but life gets hectic. Now I sit here thinking that I should have been a better friend, I should have spoken to her more often. I cried. I continue crying, for the loss of such a beautiful, intelligent, strong woman, and for the four young children left without a mother.
Life goes on. One person passes away and another is born in that same moment. Just because I care, just because her family and friends care, that doesn't mean the world cares. Millions of people will go on with their day, go on with their lives, without even knowing. So the question that comes up is: Is it worth it?
What I mean when I ask "Is it worth it?" is that we are the ones who put value on our own lives. We are the ones who self deprecate, loathe, and mistreat ourselves. Yes, others might too, but we are our own worst critics.
Is it worth it to save up money for a vacation? Is it worth it to buy a house or continue renting? Is it worth it to go drinking with friends? To look for a new job, a better job? To go back to school? To help a stranger? To ask out that person you've been interested in? To get married? To have kids? Is it worth living?
We appraise everything we choose to do without even realizing it. Everything comes down to worth.
What is happiness worth? Can you put a value on that? On life, plain ol' living?
I don't know, because I'm like everyone else. Later I'll weight the pros and cons of what to make for dinner. Is it worth it to thaw chicken when there is steak already in the fridge? The common sense in me says no, but I'm craving chicken Alfredo. And tomorrow when I wake up, it starts over again.
What it all boils down to is Am I worth it? Do I deserve all that I have and more. The answer is always yes. I am worth it. YOU ARE WORTH IT!
What's the point of droning away my entire life? To not take chances now to live while I can? So I can retire at (hopefully) 55 with decent enough health (fingers crossed because we all know that's not guaranteed) to travel and experience what life has to offer? What if I don't make it to 55?
We have to take chances. We have to enjoy the time we have. Not everyone has the means or is at a place in their life where they are able to do much, I know this. Of course it takes time. And when the time is right, do it. Do what you dreamed of, take the opportunity to live as others can not. Whatever it is, be safe and take care of yourself.
And if you are able, help someone who needs it, even if it's just a little bit. Even if the only thing you do is give them good advice. Make that phone call, send that text. Be good to one another. There is too much bad in the world already. We should start changing that while we have this short time on earth to do so. For our children and our children's children.